Contributed by traveller Dorcas, who is a travel junkie, proud coffee machine owner and professional opinion-giver. In her free time, you can find her telling people “yeah, that’s my real name. No…really.”
Up until I hit twenty, I have never eaten alone in a public place.
Most people who have never travelled alone before often describe their first solo travel experience almost like a spiritual awakening – and at the risk of sounding too cheesy, so do I. I had spent most of planning my vacations with my parents nagging me about how it was dangerous for females to be in a foreign place, even with company. I wouldn’t venture out alone overseas – not even to convenience stores.
In April of 2018, I decided that all that was going to change.
For starters, my first step was to pick the easiest place to settle in. I had been to Melbourne countless times with friends and family so I knew my way around. It was also a short flight (about 8 hours) to go there, although this time there would be no one waiting for me at the airport, it was still a familiar landscape to start on.
So began my journey to self-discovery.
Solo travel can be a form of self-indulgence
As someone who liked to leave things to the last minute, my first relief was that I didn’t have to plan an extensive itinerary four weeks ahead. I relished in the fact that I could do anything and everything my way, and at any time I wanted.
READ MORE: We identify the 15 best places for solo travel around the world
This was one of the first things I realised about solo travel, whether it was the executive decision to sleep in or to jet off to Sydney on a whim – it was completely up to me.
I am someone who enjoys sightseeing, my friends hate it. Every group trip I had been on involved me whining until I convinced my companions to walk around staring at colonial buildings for an hour. This time, there was no negotiation involved.
Being alone forces you out of your comfort zone
My first challenge began when I landed. Having always had a ride to the city planned ahead, it never occurred to be that I had no idea how to get there.
One of the things I often leave out when telling the story of the empowering, soul-binding experience of solo travel is that I spent an hour at the airport wandering around looking for a train station to the city, not realising that the Melbourne airport did not have one.
In hindsight, it seemed foolish to not just ask for help, but prior to this, I was someone who avoided speaking to strangers or service staff at all cost. After walking past the SkyBus booth for the twelfth time in a row, I sheepishly mustered up the courage to approach them, only to realise how easy it was to get help.
Throughout the week I was in the city, I had to do that dozens of times more, and each time it got easier. What most shy people, including me, fail to grasp that no one is going to get annoyed if you take up a minute of their day to ask for directions.
Some of the most wholesome experiences come from people you don’t know
To be honest, being in complete solitude for days would have driven me out of my mind. The fleeting moments with strangers kept me grounded and fuelled my next few hours alone.
One of my fonder memories of that trip happened on my third night in the city. I had just finished a round of drinks and felt pretty invincible as I walked back to the apartment when a group of teenagers came up to me and started following me. As I groveled at the fact that my mother was right, a passerby walked up to me with a big smile and said “Hey! I didn’t expect to run into you here!” before leading me away and walking me back to the apartment.
READ MORE: Everyone needs to read this guide before their first solo trip
On the way, we talked about how I was in Melbourne on the ultimate Eat, Pray, Love and she gave me a list of underground bars, restaurants and stores to visit.
In the spirit of doing things on a whim, I also third wheeled on a Great Ocean Road trip with a Japanese couple I met in a bar – a place I had never been because I just never bothered to rent a car.
It was stunning. Plus the free ride and crash course on Japanese? Incredible.
Travelling alone exposes you to more interactions with strangers, and most of the time it is a fulfilling experience. The charming thing about meeting new people when you are alone is that you give them an unbiased reception to their stories. At the same time, you learn about new cultures and worldviews that you wouldn’t get at home.
You get to live in the moment because there is nothing else to do
The biggest takeaways – and thing I missed the most – from solo travel is that I had to live in the moment.
I have always been guilty of taking too many selfies: a quick scroll through my travel albums would show more of me than the scenery. With no one around to tell me my best angle or way to pose, I had the chance to seize the day in real time.
One of the feelings I find most alluring about being alone in a new place is the sentiment that the world is my oyster – with never-ending possibilities.
You will get to experience this several times throughout your trip at the strangest places. This could come the first time you order coffee in a hidden cafe you discovered by yourself, or when you are standing over a cliff on the Grampians looking out at an endless horizon, or even when you stand in a corner people-watching in Queen Victoria Market.
Since my first encounter with solo travel two years ago, I have not looked back. Since then, I have been to Phuket, Kuala Lumpur and Da Nang by myself and every trip has provided me with a completely unique adventure. It has also made me more comfortable with being in isolation during quarantine.
Needless to say, I’d still take being alone in a foreign place than in my living room.
